one day i was walking to the store with a friend and saw this shopping cart. all the other carts were safely tucked into their little corrals, but this one was stranded; smack in the middle of a small lake-of-a-puddle. i was wearing heels, and it was november, but my friend and i decided it needed to be rescued. so i walked out to get it. while i was in the water the shopping cart and i hung out for a bit before heading back to safety. yes, the water was very, very cold, but it was fun.
For the last seven months I've been back in Canada, helping my parents out and trying to get my life a little more organized. Unfortunately, it's been a lot harder than I thought. I'm easily distracted by, well, pretty much everything. It started to seem like life was just happening and I was coasting along on cruise-control. Shitty job, stuck in the middle of nowhere, no money, very few friends close by (none particularly close), etc... I've been off my game for a (long) while, and I decided to really make an effort to figure a few things out. So, I spent a week with no facebook, no friends, (almost) no internet, no phone calls (except family), no books, no movies, and no tv.
It was a long week.
I spent as much time as possible actually concentrating on who I am and want to be, my relationships, what I believe, my goals, responsibilities, where I want to be in a year or two, my family, and my friends.
Granted, I still went to work and did all my other life-related things (I also went to a wedding on the weekend and spent time with relatives). In the end, it was totally worth it, and I'll probably make it an every-two-months habit (although maybe not for a week every time).
While I don't have everything figured out (who ever does?!), I feel a lot better about myself, my future, and my relationships. I have a more solid idea of what I want and who I am. I needed that, and for anyone out there who is curious, here are a few things I've figured out about myself:
I feel trapped in my parent's house, but I have told them that I will not stay longer than another year. They have that long to figure something out.
I feel useless and boring without money.
I eventually want to live within at least weekend visiting of my parents and sisters.
I want to make a community. get married. have children. have a job. keep learning. volunteer. get involved in projects. travel. not necessarily in that order.
I need a certain level of stability and I feel like I don't have that right now.
I want to save money to travel once and a while around Canada; maybe abroad when I'm more established and stable.
I want to make a community of friends here.
There's more, but I'm not going to share it online. It was a very difficult week. One in which I had to make some very hard choices and face some pretty tough self-criticism. It was worth it though.
Its not quite as advanced as Terminator technology. But a new concrete that can heal its own wounds may soon bring futuristic protection to bridges and roads.
Um... so this is one of the coolest and most productive inventions I've seen (except cloaking technology... that beats all in coolness)! This concrete will make buildings, roads and bridges, SO much safer! Say goodbye to potholes!
Championed by California-based competition sponsor the Seasteading Institute, the high-seas homesteading movement is all about creating tiny frontier lands "where those who wish to experiment with building new societies can go to test out their ideas," according to the institute's Web site.
Don't forget to click through all the pictures! I'd LOVE if one of these ideas could be invented! Woot!
"It is the biggest toxic dumping scandal of the 21st century, the type of environmental vandalism that international treaties are supposed to prevent. A giant multinational is being sued in London's High Court by thousands of Africans who claim they were injured as a result of the waste that was illegally tipped on Ivory Coast's biggest city, Abidjan."
The biggest toxic waste scandal, and yet people are still sick, still dying, and yet Trafigura denies the waste is hazardous. They have not been charged, and a lot of the waste is still there. Makes you really confident in humanity, doesn't it?
"The province of Shanxi in central China is one of the most polluted places in the world and according to government officials, the rate of birth defects in this region is six times higher than the national average."
We often hear about how polluted China is... but are we really paying attention? When I lived in Korea there was a season called "Yellow Dust Season", when sand from the Gobi desert in China blew across to Korea. This is relatively normal, and wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for the fact that the dust blows through Chinese factory smoke stacks first, making it toxic. By the time it hits Korea it's a health hazard and people are warned not to go outside. The air turns yellow, literally. And yet, this is just the stuff picked up and dropped in Korea. This article shows what happens in China. It makes me want to boycott "made in China", although I'm sure there are severe economic repercussions to that too...
I have many fears, and most are illogical. Water, heights, and speed are the three major ones I have been fighting most of my life.
Water:
Water is my nemesis. It is my oldest and strongest fear, one which had been reinforced as an adult. When I was very young I took swimming lessons and failed 'yellow' because I refused to put my head under water. I was terrified of not being able to breath, and even splashing water on my face resulted in gasping fear. I later made it past 'red', but have always been a very weak swimmer, and to this day am afraid of swimming without holding my head up and out of the water. I still need to hold my nose when I jump in. After a bad scare a few years ago, I was afraid of even venturing into water past my shoulders.
Heights/high speed:
This is a childhood fear. When I was little my sisters and I used to go to a park near our house, and there was a twirling swing. Being the youngest and smallest, when my sister used to spin us around, she held my swing because it was the lightest and easiest with which to run in circles. When she released me, my swing would suddenly soar up higher than all the others until I could almost touch tree branches. In my little imagination I saw my swing breaking and me soaring across the park to my death. It terrified me. Eventually I started refusing to go in twirly swings, and never could enjoy normal swings without that twinge of fear and picture of the chain breaking and me sailing to my death.
The breakdown:
I was fine with avoiding these things until I went to Southeast Asia. While there I REALLY wanted to see the view from the bell tower of a church, however, that would involve climbing up a rope to the roof (no guard rails). The rope climbing was fun because it was in the tower, but once up there I was, literally, on the roof. Scary? YES. But the view was amazing, and I felt like a superhero once my shaky legs were on solid ground again. That was the point in time when I decided to overcome my fear of heights, a little bit at a time. From that I went climbing with Chris in Korea and even jumped on the glass floor of the CN Tower. After every one of these major accomplishments I felt amazing!
My fear of water was enhanced while traveling in the Philippines, and I decided that I could not let it cripple me or I would never enjoy water again. I forced myself to swim with a life jacket while in Malaysia (the water was dead calm). I braved choppy water in Europe (with the help of my friend Allieren and an inflated bed). I decided to face my fear head on. Chris and I decided to go on holiday in Vietnam, and while there we took an open water SCUBA course. I panicked while we practiced in the pool (when you have to go under the water and learn how to breath with the mask), but kept trying. I found that every time I had to go from the surface to underwater, I would freak out inside and have to just allow myself to panic-breath while I held myself face-down. Eventually my breathing would slow down and I would dive. Soon I started to really enjoy myself! Learning to dive showed me that I CAN enjoy being under water. So I decided to boogey-board. I had one paralyzing moment of complete and utter fear when I was under, breathed in some salt water and couldn't find the bottom with my feet, but after crying and shaking for a little bit once I found the surface (which was after the wave had passed) I went back in and enjoyed myself!
Now, I would say that, although I am still wary of heights, as long as I'm on the ground or in a building (no skydiving for me yet!), I'm not afraid. I can finally thoroughly enjoy myself in high-up places. I am still very cautious of choppy water/waves, but I KNOW that if I can calm down, I WILL enjoy myself and even forget my fear for a little while!
All of this is to say that fears don't have to stick with you. I have learned to love climbing to high places, looking out from the CN tower, SCUBA diving, boogey boarding, swimming, and riding on the back of a motorcycle. Six or seven years ago I would have loved none of those things. I still get scared and panic sometimes, but the feeling of accomplishment I have afterward is my driving force. I feel amazing. I feel strong, brave, and ... well... like a hero.
In closing, check out this video. Chris sent it to me and it reinforces how I feel about my fears.
This past weekend was the easter holiday, a time of visiting family and over-eating. This weekend was a little different for my family. Saturday was my dad's birthday, so I invited the weekend-visiting family over for a casual dinner to celebrate. Just before everyone arrived, my mom fell while trying to open the porch sliding door. She was obviously in a lot of pain, especially her hip, but everyone arrived right then, so she asked for some pain killers (an indication that something really was wrong) and endured the pain through the evening. By nighttime she was too weak to go to the hospital, so my dad took her the next day to get x-rays. I decided to stay home and clean up the dishes a bit. At about 9:45 my dad called to tell me that she had broken her hip and was going to be sent to Ottawa for surgery. I made phone calls to tell the visiting family members, Rae, and my parent's church. When I went in to visit (and bring my dad some food) the doctors said she'd have to wait another day (Monday) for surgery. My dad took the day off yesterday, and they took her in at about noon and put screws and a plate in to her hip. She's in recovery now, and will most likely be in the hospital for a few weeks, although we're hoping she can be transferred to Almonte, which will be much closer and convenient. She will have to get physiotherapy, and will be on painkillers for a while yet.
Alright, I got this from my friend Matt, and as a way of explaining the "credit crisis" it was pretty helpful. Let me know what you think, and if you have anything to either dispute, or add to it!
“Afghan actress Parwin Mushthal's passion for her job has exacted a heavy toll - resulting in the murder of her husband and forcing her to live in hiding with her two children.”
Mushtal first began acting in highschool, and now has been in more than 20 theatre productions, dozens of films, and has regular television appearances. Her face is well known in Afganistan, but in this country, such popularity can be dangerous. In fact, Mushtal hid her acting career from her husband’s family, and when they came to visit, made sure the television was used only to watch movies.
In a country where the influence of the Taleban is growing stronger, acting is often linked with immorality. Women who act are often accused of prostitution, threatened, and even abused. Mushtal received such threats, and often arrived to work only to find people waiting at the entrance, blocking her path, and telling her she shouldn’t be working. She received threatening phone calls and was abused walking in the streets. People began to recognize her, and once, walking home with her young son, a stranger on a bike violently punched her in the back as he passed. She fell to the ground and injured her leg so badly that she still has pain months later. She thought perhaps the abuse was directed at her due to her clothing, so she began dressing more modestly and began wearing a scarf over her head. It wasn’t until her husband began receiving phone calls asking why he allowed his wife to act that she realized what the problem was. By then, it was too late.
One night in December a man repeatedly called her husband, telling him to come out of the house. He refused. The next night he began calling again, and eventually her husband agreed to meet him. Mushtal became concerned when he didn’t return after dark, and at eight o’clock heard shooting. She was afraid the man would come into the house next, so she locked the door and waited all night. In the morning police found her husband’s body, shot numerous times.
Now Parwin Pashtal is in hiding, wearing a full-length burka so she can't be recognized. She lives in constant fear that someone will recognize her and come after her or her two children. Pashtal’s story is not an anomaly in Afganistan. The Taleban is gaining strength in many cities, and is openly critical of women in the workplace. The result is situations like Pashtal’s, where women are threatened, abused, and even forced into hiding.
I wish this story could end on a happier note, but it can't. I wish I could DO something. Thus far, all I am doing is writing notes reaching very, VERY few people. Spreading information is one thing, but I don't feel like I'm actually helping improve anything. I want to help things CHANGE.
You guys remember the Valdex oil spill back in ’89? Well on March 23 an oil tanker stranded and leaked 11 million gallons of crude, making it the worst oil spill in US history. Clean up started immediately after the accident, and continued until 1994, when experts determined that the oil was naturally disintegrating rapidly, and that in a few years it would be completely gone. So, where are we 20 years later?
Not great.
Instead of disappearing, the oil breakdown in areas with irregular water flow has slowed, and according to recently completed research by the WWF, there are still 21,000 gallons of the toxic sludge coating Alaska’s shores and poisoning the wildlife. I’m not going to go into how much damage this spill caused (and is still causing, and will continue to cause), because it’s depressing. Hopefully Australia fares better. Water Is Not a Human Right
Access to clean water is NOT a human right, according to a the Istanbul Ministerial Statement, which was adopted by ministers and heads of delegations from more than 150 countries. They agreed that clean water is a human need, but not a human right.
Anyone else think that’s bull****?!! I was PISSED when I read this.
And get this, they published it to purposely coincide with the United Nations' World Water Day. How’s that for irony?
What’s the saying about a white elephant? Well, how about pink? In Botswana a wildlife cameraman managed to catch sight of a pink African elephant calf, which experts believe is most likely an albino. Unlike Asian elephants, who spend a lot of time in jungle areas, African elephants spend a lot of time in the open, unprotected from the burning sun. Although this baby albino has slim chances for survival, his sensitive skin making him particularly vulnerable to a variety of health problems, he seems to have already begun to adapt to his situation. He walks in the shade of his mother, and since the herd was found in an area with water and trees, hopefully the baby will learn to cake himself in mud or take refuge under available trees.
I figure the little guy’s gonna make it. Elephants are smart, and this one already seems to have figured out that the sun can hurt him. Let’s be honest, he’s also pretty cute. Glaucoma Anybody?
Apparently the drug used to treat glaucoma makes eyelashes grow longer, thicker, and darker. Now it’s being used solely for that purpose. Yes. You can now apply chemicals and drugs to your eyelashes to make them more like Audrey Hepburn’s (which were fake). Can anyone think of a better use for medicinal research funds?
Alaska Volcano! Great shots of the volcano in Alaska that blasted off this month!
I bet this guy has trouble getting life insurance! Kevin Richardson is an animal behaviorist who plays with lions. He has developed such a relationship with the lions that he rolls around with both males and females. The females even let him pet new cubs, a miracle considering how protective lionesses are. I think he’s an insaniac, but super cool.
New Zealander Peter Donnelly is the Sand Dancer. He rides his bicycle to the beach immediately after the tide goes out, and using only a stick, a rake, and his imagination, creates astonishingly beautiful works of art in the sand. One of the most amazing things is, since he's on the ground, he can't really see what it looks like until it's finished.
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