racing the wind...

What is ...

2012-01-02T09:46:00.006-05:00

Love? I've asked myself this question many times in my life, and I've realised that, like most abstract concepts, there is no single answer to it.

I was raised with the "Love is patient, love is kind" ideal, and watched it lived out in the lives of my parents. I have seen wonderful things done in the name of love, and I have seen love grow in extremely difficult circumstances. I have loved and been loved, and been in love. It can be easy to be loving with people I know, and who love me in return.

It is another story when someone has 'that' personality. You know what I mean. The person who just drives you up the wall screaming with frustration. There are some personality types I can't understand, and who can push my 'lose it' button by breathing.

What I have come to realise, is that I am one of those people, and I imagine you are too. Some personality types just have more trouble communicating with one another than others. I don't 'get' them, and they don't 'get' me, and the result can be absolute frustration and hurt. I probably drive those same people as crazy as they drive me.

So this year I know some people will drive me insane. I will feel they are the most irrational, idiotic, self-centred, and annoying people on the planet, but I need to remember that I am most likely the same to them. I may find someone who makes me batshit crazy, but they still deserve respect, dignity, and compassion shown to them, whether they do the same for me or not. That, I think, is a new personal goal of mine.

So, I'll love my friends and family, but will try not to forget the ass who talks too much or too loud at every event, the stupid shit who has the really, really annoying habit(s), the know-it-all who tries to be better than everyone else, all the time, or the fucker who ate the last piece of cheesecake being saved for me.

I'm not saying I should pretend to be or feel something I'm not or don't, but I'll try to take a deep breath, count to ten, and avoid being the second asshole in the equation.

Happy New Year, Everyone.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

A State of Being

2011-11-13T23:33:00.010-05:00

Joy

Noun:

The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.

The expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.

A deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment.

Synonyms:

Rapture - pleasure - bliss - delight

Hap ^.py

Adjective:

Characterized by, or indicative of, pleasure, contentment, or joy.

Favoured by fortune; fortunate or lucky.

Synonyms:

Delighted - pleased -glad

Sat^.is^.fac ^.tion

Noun:

The feeling of fulfillment; gratification.

Confident acceptance of something as satisfactory, dependable, or true.

Synonyms:

Enjoyment - pleasure - comfort

Con ^.tent

Noun:

The state of satisfaction; ease of mind.

Satisfied with one is or has; not wanting more, or anything else.

Adjective:

Mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are.

Assenting to or willing to accept circumstances.

Synonyms:

Appease - satisfaction - gratification

There are states of being which are chosen, and states which are spontaneous outbreaks of emotion. The emotions can be suppressed, and our ability to feel them may be damaged if they are held in check too often. Those states which are deliberate are elusive, difficult to grasp, and take perseverance and strength of mind to maintain.

New Beginnings

2011-10-22T22:07:00.002-04:00

I have a job!

Cheers for new beginnings!

The Marriage of a Garrett and a Green

2011-09-28T22:09:00.005-04:00

This past weekend my wonderful sister Rachel married Peter Green. It was a spectacular ceremony at the Mill of Kintail, in Almonte. The day was warm and sunny, the trees had turned to autumnal colours, and there was just the slightest breeze. Rachel looked stunning, and Peter shudder/sighed in awe when he saw her floating down the aisle. Family and friends, both old and new, were there, and the afternoon was just about perfect. Even Nature seemed to approve, as a chipmunk scampered at the feet of the bride and groom, a grasshopper sat on the groom's shoulder, and a ladybug perused the bride's veil.

Of course, the groomsmen were profusely sweating through their suit jackets, and bridesmaids were gracefully dodging bees. Whatever, it was still perfect, and we laughed about the sweat and stings later.

Planning for the wedding, ceremony and all in between had been through by the genius of my sister Joy. She also, among other things, made two of the bridesmaid dresses, planned decorations, hosted the lingerie shower, and made the bouquets. The reception was, as Peter's auntie Elsie would say, "an absolute hoot!" The speeches were either rib cracking or heart wrenching, and all were full of love and congratulations. The band was lead by my uncle Brian, and he did an amazing job. The MC and DJ was my hilarious, favorite cousin Phil (FCP). I'm pretty sure everyone danced to at least one song, and I'm positive I was only off the dance floor for 10-15 minutes the whole night. Yes, I mashed those potatoes, started the lawn mower, and did the sprinkler. I jigged with the Newfie aunts and shook, rattled, and rolled with the cousins. I couldn't believe how well the two families came together. Family reunions will never be the same from here on in, they'll be better.

I made friends with Pete's friends and family, and by the end of the weekend I was so sad to see everyone leave. Although I know I'll see Rae, Pete, and various new family and friends again, it breaks my heart that everyone lives so far away. I know the world is now a village, but transportation is expensive, and skyping just isn't the same as chillin' in a pub over drinks

Somehow, now that Rae is married, she seems further away. It's more real to me that we may never live near one another again, and certainly not under the same roof. I guess now, with her most likely starting a family, and with new family and friends in Ft. Mac, I'll just have to make sure I visit.

Often.

Goals for September

2011-09-08T07:50:00.003-04:00

I've been following the blog of my lovely cousin Brit, and she gave me the idea of setting monthly goals. Hers are simple and wonderful, but most of all, they're achievable! So, without further ado, here are my September goals:

1. Keep my rooms room tidy. I'm pretty good at that as it is, but I could do better. Sharing a house means I have less control over the other rooms, but I will be keeping my own nice and tidy.

2. Go for a long walk at least four times every week. I don't like getting out and walking in the winter, so I should get as much walking in nice weather while I can!

3. Stretch daily. That's pretty self-explanatory.

4. Cook a meal for someone I love twice a week. This may not happen closer to Rae's wedding at the end of the month, but I'll start this weekend.

5. Paint as often as possible.

6. Write something each evening (not necessarily blogging).

Okay! I think that's a realistic list! I hope I can keep it up! Thanks again Brit!

Trees

2011-09-07T12:00:00.000-04:00

I love them. There is something about a tree that symbolises life to me. I love trees more than flowers, grass, rainbows, and even sunsets (or sunrises). They start young and fragile, but can become these huge colossal beings; strong, but still vulnerable. They are associated with wisdom, age, and endurance, and are some of the very oldest continually living things on this earth. Some trees are thousands of years old. We use the word to describe our families, friends, and communities. We used to use the parts of trees to build our homes, furniture, and to keep us warm. They prevent erosion of soil, help moderate temperatures with their shade, and produce oxygen for us to breath. Many provide food for us to eat.

I love climbing trees, sitting in their shade, or even just touching them. I've hugged ancient trees and planted baby ones. There's nothing quite like slinging a hammock between two trees and enjoying a good book (also provided by trees).

There is something mysterious and wonderful about trees, and I want to share with you my love of them.

Here are some favorite tree pictures of mine:

A path through a beautiful grove of soft-bark trees

A beautiful tree in Scotland. I hugged this one.

What I think Bilbo's party tree really looked like

Trees shading a walking path

Hungry

2011-08-15T10:55:00.010-04:00

Consumption of nutrients is a basic requirement for sustaining life in humans. It is a primal instinct in each of us. Nutrients give us energy, strength, and allow us to grow. Hunger is the alarm by which we are prompted to eat. If it is ignored we experience discomfort, and by continuing to ignore it, we experience pain. If enough nutrients are not consumed we become malnourished; our bodies become weak, our minds confused, and our energy is limited. If this situation persists, the body slowly begins to devour it’s own flesh, bones, and organs.

Unfortunately, there are billions of people in this world who feel the warning bells of hunger every minute of every day. They feel the alarms, but they can do nothing to silence them. This is true hunger.

Every year millions of Muslims observe Ramadan, which is a time of making peace with neighbours and letting go of any bitterness or resentment held against others. Most importantly however, it is a time in which each healthy man and woman abstains from all food and drink, while the sun is in the sky, for the cycle of a moon. The purpose of this restraint is to experience hunger and thirst, in an attempt to better understand what millions of people are forced to experience every day.

Hunger is a very powerful thing. It is hard not to feel resentful when smelling your co-worker is eating hot pizza at the desk beside you. In the middle of the day your stomach rumbles uncomfortably, and halfway through the afternoon you start getting hunger cramps. Water starts to look like the nectar of the gods, and your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth. You berate yourself for not having just one more glass when you got up at 5:30 am for a quick breakfast. By the time mere 10 hours have passed since your last meal, eating your next one is all you can think about, yet you know you still have several hours until the sun sets.

So you go grocery shopping for the evening meal, but you forget that you’ll have to pass the free samples of cheese, lasagne, steak, or even the newest cereal. You reach for one of the toothpicks offering a taste of ambrosia, but just as your fingers touch it you remember why you can’t have it. Not because of a religious commandment, or god-induced guilt. Those are not the reasons you do this to yourself for a month each year. You do this because it helps you to better value what you do have. When it is finally time to eat in the evening you appreciate your food, no matter what it is.

You do this to be grateful you have the opportunity to eat at every meal, every day. Suddenly your petty complaints diminish in importance. You remember that you have only experienced hunger, but that people in the world are starving. Hunger is all you can imagine, because it is all you have experienced, and it is so awful it sometimes overrides your ability to control it. You realise you just can’t imagine how terrible starvation must actually be.

For those of us who observe Ramadan the experience is incomplete, and mercifully so. When lunar cycle concludes those who have been fasting give gifts of food and money to those who need it, whether they are neighbours, or strangers who live in a distant country. If we are not able to afford to give these, we give the gift of time, and volunteer at shelters, soup kitchens, or housing development projects.

This commentary isn't meant to make anyone feel guilty for eating out or owning a dozen shoes. Instead the purpose is to encourage us all to remember playing in the playground as children. To appreciate the toys we have, and to share with the children who sit against the wall and longingly watch us play with them.

your body is beautiful

2011-08-13T13:10:00.004-04:00

Most people I know are unhappy with at least one body part, and some with the whole package. I am a Massage Therapist, and I see different sizes, shapes, colours, weights, and heights. I see scars, malformed limbs, and parts which no longer function (or never have functioned) properly. It frustrates me when wonderful people despise about what they see as ugly about their physical selves.

You are beautiful. Your body is beautiful. This is a subject about which I am most fierce.

Whether you like it or not, your body is like your biography. Every scar, wrinkle, sag, extra pound, and mole has a story to tell, and each of those stories are a part of the anthology that is you. I don't care who you are, where you are from, what you look like, or what you have and haven't done. Your body is a part of you, of how you think of yourself, and if you hate your body, how can you love, and be happy with who you are?

If you hate your "baby weight" and struggle to lose it, maybe you need to see it more positively: you are a mother, and that is something to celebrate. Look positively on your road to a healthy body and take each day at a time. If your goal is too far away, it will feel impossible to achieve, and then you have lost it before you have even started to reach it.

Stop worrying about not having flat abs, slender thighs, or a straight nose. Don't despair over your receding hairline, small chest, or crows' feet. You are not cut from a cookie cutter! You are a unique and wonderful person!

I want for you to see yourself the way I see you. You are a person with hopes, dreams, aspirations, heartbreak, and fears. You have preferences, favourites, dislikes, and things that make you gag. Some of these will be reflected in your body. You should be proud of your scars, stretch marks, and wrinkles, because they show that you are a person with a story. Confidence is beautiful, and if you are happy with the story you have to tell, you should be confident in the beauty of the body that tells it.

I think your body is art. I think your body is beautiful.

Motherhood

2011-08-09T18:09:00.007-04:00

Today I turned on the tv and there was a movie playing called Motherhood. The movie highlights a single day in the life of a writer-turned-wife-and-mother of two. This day is also the sixth birthday of her daughter, and revealed is all the stress, chaos, and emotions that go with motherhood for this particular woman. Now, I only caught the last 45-minutes or so of the movie, but I found that although the script is about being a mom, really it is about life.

Motherhood is about accepting the limitations of time and energy, which stretch beyond you, even if sometimes it feels they could consume you. Search for and hold on to your own true self.

If you lose that, what kind of mother can you be?

Things are always changing, no matter how much we might want things to stay the same. You could take a picture of your kids every single day, and every single day, they'd just be getting older.
That's a fact. A heartbreaking fact, but still a fact.
So seize your days and dwell in them fully. Look to your children because they know how to inhabit brief periods of time with extreme passion. And for nothing more, really, than the sake of those moments. They can help you remember that, if you only slow down and let them.

Feel fortunate, because chances are good you actually might be.

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.

2011-07-30T12:31:00.006-04:00

I wish nothing but the best for you two.

heartbreak

2011-06-18T09:54:00.014-04:00

Heartbreak in any form is such a simple thing.

There is no reasoning with it, no pleading, begging, or bartering to make it go away. The pain is unrelenting. When your heart is first broken it feels like labour pains, except backwards. You have already experienced the beautiful miracle, and now it is gone, starting with an explosion of agony. Then, the miracle, in your memories, becomes a curse.

There are frequent moments of torture, when you see something that reminds you of the person; nothing simple, like a photograph (you've already hidden all of those), but a t-shirt, a book, a toothbrush. These moments feel like lightning has struck your heart; it clenches, burns, cripples you.

So you keep busy.

You try to keep busy, so your brain doesn't think about the one you loved, because as soon as you do, you can think of nothing else. You would become a useless mass of agony. You read or watch mindless television until you're so exhausted that you crash into a dreamless sleep.

Because the dreams are a whole new kind of hell.

Sometimes you relive the tearing of your heart over and over in a restless night of searing pain. Worse are the beautiful dreams. The reliving of the beautiful moments, the most loving and fulfilling of them, and then you wake up and it is like living that first moment of separation all over again. Dreams are complete torture, so you avoid them. Dreams and memories have become the enemy.

So you keep busy.

You force yourself to never think of that person, in the desperate hope that the pain will end. There will still be lightning flashes of pain: their name belonging to a stranger, an errant photograph, a favourite colour. The flashes are unexpected now and you catch you breath at the stab of pain.

In this time you may have learned how to smile again. You may forget your pain for an instant when something makes you laugh. You pretend to heal for the sake of others, and sometimes you are surprised that in pretending, over time, some form of healing truly has taken place. The moments of stabbing pain have become aches, throbs, or clenches, but the crippling wounds in your heart have dimmed.

This may never, ever, stop.

Sometimes the pain is eased by the love of others: family, friends, a lover. Sometimes it must be new family, new friends, or a new lover. Basking in these can sooth the wounds of a broken heart, and allow for love to happen again. You can find delight in others, and, except for rare moments, have become happy and content. The ache may never fully leave, but you may have found a new miracle.

Unfortunately, hearts can be broken over again.

choose another valentine

2011-02-18T08:58:00.013-05:00

I have disliked Valentine's Day since I was old enough to recognize that 'store-bought' cards were somehow more valuable than 'home-made' cards. I have rarely celebrated it since that time, decrying it as a useless holiday. I don't want my partner to have to show appreciation for our relationship on a specific day by buying jewelry, chocolate, or flowers. I dislike the social pressure that says "if you don't spend a lot of money on your woman on Feb 14th, you're a bad partner and she has to get mad at you." Ridiculous. While gifts can be a wonderful way of showing a person you appreciate them, or even that you were thinking of them, they should not be mandatory; it defeats the purpose altogether! The significance of a gift is diminished if your partner has to give you a new one every year. Each couple has their own romantic holiday over which they have complete control anyway: the Anniversary, whether they choose to celebrate it or not.

I'm not completely free of convention. I try celebrate my relationships throughout the year instead. If I could change Valentine's Day I would make it about love in general, not just for romantic love, and I'd veto the gift requirement. It would be about spending time with the people who mean the most to you: family and friends. I admit that I'm cynical, and not very romantic, but that's really just in the traditional sense. I melt at the unexpected, whether it's an unplanned visit or a spontaneous text/email/call, those are the things that tell me I am special to someone.

Unfortunately, I'm not very good at letting people know they are special to me. I let life keep me busy and some of the people I care about the most fall in the cracks. Although I hope that will be easier to change when I'm no longer in school, I really do need to get my priorities straight. I have grandiose plans and expectations of myself, and I guess we'll just have to wait and see if I can live up to my own expectations.

Ignorance

2010-09-30T10:05:00.006-04:00

Hmmmmm... Something I found very interesting, although not very surprising, was an article about how little Americans (and most likely Canadians) know about world religions. I took the survey and, despite taking religious studies for 3 years at university, only got a 70%. It was humbling for sure, and made me realize how much I DON'T know about the beliefs of my friends and neighbours. However, I do not believe ignorance such as mine is an excuse for the hatred and intolerance

It drives me crazy when people with a lot of influence, like that imbecilic and ignorant pastor in Florida who threatened to burn the Koran, encourage racism and hatred. The inability to live with others in such a way, and encouraging others to be intolerant of the beliefs of others is EXACTLY the same attitude as those who burn American flags and cursing Western society. We have a word for that attitude: hypocrite.

For those who may be interested, here it is, along with a few comments from me.

ATHEISTS BEST INFORMED ABOUT RELIGION

Analysis by Benjamin Radford Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:02 AM E

Earlier this month Florida pastor Terry Jones caused an international uproar when he threatened to burn copies of the Koran, Islam's holy book, despite the fact that he'd never read the book and doesn't know what it says.

It's one thing to not fully understand the basic tenets of a different religion. But recent research from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that Americans are often woefully ignorant not only of other religions, but of their own faith.

The researchers polled nearly 3,500 Americans and asked them 32 basic questions about world religions, their texts, main figures, and tenets. Most respondents got about half the questions wrong. For example, 45% of Catholics polled did not know that the Catholic church teaches that the consecrated bread and wine in holy communion are said to actually and literally become the body and blood of Christ. About as many Americans did not know that the Dalai Lama is Buddhist.

In fact the poll found that atheists and agnostics knew more about religion than religious people. Among religious groups, Jews and Mormons scored highest.

That Americans don't know much about their own faith is hardly news. In one widely-seen video clip, comedian Stephen Colbert interviewed Georgia Congressman Lynn Westmoreland, who co-sponsored a bill to require display of the Ten Commandments in the House of Representatives and the Senate. Colbert asked Westmoreland to name the Ten Commandments.

The Congressman, who wanted to make sure that everyone sees and remembers most famous "top ten" list in the world, struggled to name them: "Um... Don't murder... don't lie....don't steal...." After some awkward silence, having named fewer than one-third of God's commandments, Westmoreland gave up: "Um... I can't name them all." Westmoreland is not alone.

According to a March 2007, USA Today survey revealed that 60 percent of Americans can't name the Ten Commandments.

Another measure of American misunderstanding of religion is how often one hears the phrase, "We should all just get along, all religions basically say the same thing."

Actually, they do not: the world's major religions hold very different -- and often fundamentally incompatible -- beliefs. Anyone who thinks that Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism reflect essentially identical teachings is demonstrating a profound ignorance of those faiths.

Even the wildly popular "Coexist" bumper sticker, the one that incorporates religious symbols from many religions, runs into a contradiction when applied to the many faiths that proselytize. Peaceful coexistence is unlikely if a devout follower believes both that his is the only true faith and that it is his solemn duty to convert others to that one true faith.

Though many people claim to be religious and have religious faith, it's not clear what, exactly, that means in real-world terms. If a person calls himself or herself a Christian, but does not follow (nor even understand) basic principles of Christianity, what's the point? Anyone can claim to be of any faith they choose, but unless that religion meaningfully informs and influences that person's life, it's hard to see the value in claiming to follow that faith.

Sociologists have long known that religious people are no more honest or trustworthy than the non-religious, and the new poll suggests that atheists and other non-believers are actually better informed about the religious world than the faithful themselves.

I will be doing more research now...

Community

2010-04-23T10:46:00.006-04:00

I love reading the blogs of my friends; one person in particular, Ashley Burtch, always manages to express my feelings and thoughts with far more articulation than I have ever managed. This is an exerpt from her post Journey Mystery Community:

Community is never perfect. And I wouldn’t want to hang out with perfect people. I wouldn’t belong there. It’s good that sometimes I don’t like the things you say or do, because it means its okay when you don’t like the things I say or do. I still want my roots to become entangled with yours. And maybe if I listen more and judge less, I will learn something from your story. I might discover that you and I are not so different.

So true. Thanks Ash.

looking forward

2010-04-03T22:35:00.005-04:00

I think I've realized something. Today, I have no regrets. I am looking forward to the future. I now rarely look to the past. This is good. I like my life now. Most of the time, I might even be happy.

broken

2010-03-05T22:49:00.006-05:00

Being broken does not necessarily make you stronger. Breaking your arm makes the bone less flexible. Without flexibility it is more likely to break again. Essentially, it is weaker. Appropriate analogy.

The Walking Song

2010-03-03T23:49:00.007-05:00

♪ ...Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall...

Fade. ♪

This is a beautiful song concerning life and death; hope and despair. It is written by Billy Boyd, and is based in a poem written by J.R.R. Tolkien. It has been in my head for days, and perfectly expresses my mood...

it just keeps getting worse...

2010-02-10T22:47:00.005-05:00

It just keeps getting worse and worse in Somalia. Now, according to the BBC, there looks to be a showdown, between the government troops and rebels, in the near future. Residents who had not yet left Mogadishu (the capitol) are being killed by both sides. It has been nearly twenty years since Somalia had a stable, functioning government (although even then...), and things just seem to be getting from bad, to worse, to terrible, to a descent into hell. It may not be a natural disaster like Haiti, but Somalia has been a human-fueled nightmare for so long...

What can be done? Believe me, doing nothing doesn't seem to be working

links: click BBC, bad, worse, terrible, hell.

the shepherd

2010-02-07T11:24:00.009-05:00

Listening to The Shepherd, by Frederick Forsyth and read by CBC's Alan Maitland was a family tradition every Christmas Eve when I was young. Every time I listen to it my heart is glows, and my throat gets tight at certain parts. I hear the story in his voice, and it is familiar, like that of an old friend. Mr. Maitland died many years ago, but CBC still plays The Shepherd, by Alan Maitland, every Christmas Eve, and I hope one day if I have children I can carry on the tradition my parents started.

Even if not, I want to share this warm and love-filled memory with you.

Here you go: The Shepherd

2010: A new start.

2010-01-09T17:20:00.005-05:00

2010: A new start. So, I'm not really one to have regrets, but I have a pile of them from 2009. So, I've decided to start the next few years with a few goals, and I'm going to share them with you all! Aren't you lucky...

1. finish school with good grades. This is a major one. I know I can graduate, I just need to prove to myself that I can work hard and get great grades.

2. pay for school. That one's pretty obvious.

3. do fun and adventurous things every 3-4 months. In the spring I'm planning to go zip lining. If you have any ideas for other fun and adventurous things for later months, list them in the comments.

4. build a community. This one may take a long time, but I'm starting now.

5. be happy. I have always had the ability to be content with whatever and wherever I am. I think this can be a good thing, but it also means I rarely fight for what I want. Well, I'm going to choose my battles (obviously), but I'm also going to start doing the things I want to do. Like zip lining and ... stuff

6. refuse regret. This doesn't mean I won't learn from my mistakes. However, if there is nothing I can do to change/resolve the situation, I will move on. I have already started this one.

7. find old friends and spent time with them. Introduce them to new friends.

8. party more! 'nuff said.

9. be vulnerable. REALLY vulnerable. With someone who can handle it.

10. relax! enjoy the year; enjoy life, and all the twists and turns that come with it.

There we go peeps. a few goals for me!

celebration of a decade

2009-12-28T16:56:00.019-05:00

This is a celebration blog of the past decade. Truly it has been one to remember.

2000/2001

Woooowhee! So this is grades 11/12 for me. Awesome year by the way, and a great start to my blog! This was one of the years I went to Stratford ON, and except for two classes, this is also the year I finished most of highschool! Whew. I loved this year... The apex of my highschool experience.

I started working part-time and tutoring more often. I spent time with friends and just plain old enjoyed highschool! PS> I'm the one with the rifle. Of course. *wink*

2002/2003

I graduated highschool and started working full time to save for university. When I first started working it was 2pm-10pm, then switched to 6am-2pm, spent a summer working 10pm-6am, and then back to 6am-2pm! This is the most wealthy I have ever been at one time, with no loans, no school, no bills, and no car! It was great!

I spent TONS of time with my second family, the El Dali family. These are my younger sisters and brothers! *grin* Mariam is gonna kill me for posting this! In the fall I also started school at SSU!

2004

Oh dear. My first years at SSU. What a time! Putting off papers, crashing laptops, late nights, crazy friends and one wild roommate. I'm amazed I'm alive! Summer of '04 is also when I first lived in Scotland for a year and met my THIRD family, the MacDonalds!

2005

My second year of school was pretty amazing too! I spent a LOT of time with Sam and Brie. Second term was the easiest of all my terms there by far, and I spent SO much time chillin' at the local pub...

At the end of the year I travelled to Southeast Asia. The Philippines, Malaysia, and Thailand. I studied cultures, languages, and history. It was an amazing experience. I also had a LOT of fun!

2006.

After returning home from Asia I spent a few weeks chillin' at home and then moved back to Aberdeen and family three! I worked in the bar of the local Holiday Inn and had a blast. I rebonded with old friends and made new ones. Then, when my visa ran out, I went to Ireland for a few days!

Later that spring I met up with my classmates again and we travelled across western Europe. From campsite to campsite. Tenties forever Brie.

Then Brie, Chris, and I went to Scotland and we were all together!

2006/2007.

oh man. my final year at SSU. Such a fantastic time. Everything from new friends, close friends, apple picking, playing in rainstorms, HALO, Hallowe'en, birthday parties, and Claire visiting from Scotland. Woo! best ever!

2008.

To me. This is the year of Korea. for 15 months I lived and breathed Korea (literally). I may have gone with friends, but I also made many, many more while I was there. I love you all my Chingus!

Wait a minute! Claire was in Korea too! Hey, you're in my life in each year from 2004-2008. Sneaky!

I also went to Vietnam this year... and got my SCUBA license!

2009.

This is the year of boredom. 4 separate jobs. Monotony and depression. It is the most difficult year of the entire decade, although it is looking up here at the end. I have started school again, made amazing new friends (are you reading this Krista?), and have a job I enjoy. I didn't have a camera for most of this year, but I'll see what I can dredge up...

While the year hasn't ended with a fantastic bang, I've still got a smile on my face. Lets be honest, it was an amazing decade. Yay new year!

ch-ch...ch-ch...changes!

2009-11-15T16:01:00.006-05:00

Alright, so I've basically had a terrible last six months and I decided a little bit ago to rediscover myself. I've come a long way, made a lot of changes, and wanted an outward reminder to myself to be myself. So I cut off all my hair. WOOO!!!!!

New places and faces

2009-10-17T08:59:00.006-04:00

I realize I haven't blogged in a while, and the reason is that I've gone back to school. Finally. I'm taking Massage Therapy, at the International Academy of Massage, and so far I'm loving it. For my first semester (which I am half finished already). I have Anatomy, Physiology, Pathology, Nutrition, Terminology, Massage Techniques, Client Assessments, Business Skills, Law and Regulations, and Communication Skills. I'm in class from 8:30am to 5:30pm with a 45 minute lunch break, 10 minute breaks between classes, four days a week. That means, instead of 16 hours a week of classes (such as at SSU, where I got my B.A.), I am taking about 32 hours a week of classes, and I LOVE it. The stuff I'm learning has me enthralled, and I just can't get enough.

The only part that I don't like is that I have very little extra time. I tutor a fantastic family after school, and I work in a local cafe on weekends, so between these and studying, my social life and regular sleep patterns have pretty much been squeezed to the sidelines. I can't do without either though (tutoring pays for gas; waitressing pays for school), and really enjoy both (although I enjoy tutoring much more than the cafe), so I can't complain. At least I have a job!

Once I'm certified I can do so much for people! Did you know that I can help someone who has a problem as simple as constipation and stress, or as complex as Fibromyalgia or some Muscular Dystrophies? I will be learning more about actual muscles than most doctors. I've been learning about the bones, all the major connections, primary joints, grooves, ridges, notches, tendons, internal bits, processes, etc., and that's just in one class! I'm going to feel all full-up with knowledge soon!

Afghanistan I: the land of drugs and death

2009-09-18T12:20:00.005-04:00

I've been doing some research on Afghanistan, its history, and its current status. It hasn't been a fun time, but it has been an enlightening one.

Afghanistan I: the land of drugs and death

The country of Afghanistan has a long history of internal warfare, as well as consistent invasion by neighbouring (or distant) countries. The geography and climate of Afghanistan has had a strong influence on its war-torn history, often acerbating social and political strife. It is landlocked with a climate that varies sharply throughout its different regions. Each area, from the lush, green pastures in the north, high mountain plateaus, and desolate, windy desert, has been exploited and misused to the determent of the entire country.

Afghanistan is non-coastal, located in southern Asia, and is situated to the east of Iran and both north and west of Pakistan. On the eastern side of the country Afghanistan also shares a very small border with China. The north is predominantly pastoral farmland, with fertile grassy plains, cultivated fields, and rolling hills. It also has central highlands, which are mountainous and dangerous, encompassing the heart, and majority, of the country. Further to the south is desert, dominated by dry winds and unforgiving, harsh weather.

In the north farmers grow wheat, rice, and cotton, while wandering shepherds graze their sheep and goats. Although this sounds like the idyllic homeland of Heidi, the area has all but forgotten peace. There has been severe drought, destroying crops and herds, and land mines are scattered throughout the region, severely restricting grazing flocks. In the past decade much of the farmland once used for wheat has been transformed and is now primarily used for poppy cultivation. The seeds are processed to make opium and heroin, and nintey-two percent of the world’s opium coming from Afghanistan’s northern region alone, the result is a lucrative drug-smuggling business for terrorists like the Taliban.

Afghanistan’s largest region is the central highlands, an area which has played a vital role in the history of the struggle for control of Afghanistan. This area includes a large portion of the Hindu Kush Mountains, a part of the Himalayas. These cover nearly two-thirds of the country, and are so rough and treacherous that their name roughly translates to mean the Killer of Hindus. The ranges are unforgiving and rough, prone to earthquakes and sudden weather changes. This desert-steppe area typically has snow and strong winds due to its high elevation. The deep valleys and high, ragged mountains are a perfect hiding place for anyone who does not wish to be found, as long as such a person knows how to survive in such a harsh climate.

The mostly barren and windswept area of Afghanistan is located in the desert of the southern plateau. This area is close to the borders of both Pakistan and Iran, and is extremely unwelcoming. It is where the Taliban has its strongest foothold, spreading across the desert into Pakistan. The south is mostly infertile desert, with only a few rivers snaking across it, allowing for some fertile soil.

Regardless of region, Afghanistan is a broken country. The climate and geographical conditions are acerbated by warfare, political instability, and bloodthirsty religious fervor. The strengths of each region have been exploited, whether by drug lords or terrorists or both, resulting in a country full of harsh weather, violence, and poverty.

Check out a video about life in Afghanistan here.

Check out my other sources here, here, here, and here.

Next: a (hopefully) brief history of Afghanistan.

one day i rescued a shopping cart

2009-06-23T16:06:00.006-04:00

one day i was walking to the store with a friend and saw this shopping cart. all the other carts were safely tucked into their little corrals, but this one was stranded; smack in the middle of a small lake-of-a-puddle. i was wearing heels, and it was november, but my friend and i decided it needed to be rescued. so i walked out to get it. while i was in the water the shopping cart and i hung out for a bit before heading back to safety. yes, the water was very, very cold, but it was fun.

i love these pictures. they feel very 'me'

Photo credit: topherseto

click the photo for a larger view

moving on...

2009-06-22T21:34:00.006-04:00

For the last seven months I've been back in Canada, helping my parents out and trying to get my life a little more organized. Unfortunately, it's been a lot harder than I thought. I'm easily distracted by, well, pretty much everything. It started to seem like life was just happening and I was coasting along on cruise-control. Shitty job, stuck in the middle of nowhere, no money, very few friends close by (none particularly close), etc... I've been off my game for a (long) while, and I decided to really make an effort to figure a few things out. So, I spent a week with no facebook, no friends, (almost) no internet, no phone calls (except family), no books, no movies, and no tv.

It was a long week.

I spent as much time as possible actually concentrating on who I am and want to be, my relationships, what I believe, my goals, responsibilities, where I want to be in a year or two, my family, and my friends.

Granted, I still went to work and did all my other life-related things (I also went to a wedding on the weekend and spent time with relatives). In the end, it was totally worth it, and I'll probably make it an every-two-months habit (although maybe not for a week every time).

While I don't have everything figured out (who ever does?!), I feel a lot better about myself, my future, and my relationships. I have a more solid idea of what I want and who I am. I needed that, and for anyone out there who is curious, here are a few things I've figured out about myself:

I feel trapped in my parent's house, but I have told them that I will not stay longer than another year. They have that long to figure something out.

I feel useless and boring without money.

I eventually want to live within at least weekend visiting of my parents and sisters.

I want to make a community. get married. have children. have a job. keep learning. volunteer. get involved in projects. travel. not necessarily in that order.

I need a certain level of stability and I feel like I don't have that right now.

I want to save money to travel once and a while around Canada; maybe abroad when I'm more established and stable.

I want to make a community of friends here.

There's more, but I'm not going to share it online. It was a very difficult week. One in which I had to make some very hard choices and face some pretty tough self-criticism. It was worth it though.

Great Water Solutions...

2009-05-25T14:59:00.002-04:00

Self-Healing Concrete

National Geographic

Its not quite as advanced as Terminator technology. But a new concrete that can heal its own wounds may soon bring futuristic protection to bridges and roads.

Um... so this is one of the coolest and most productive inventions I've seen (except cloaking technology... that beats all in coolness)! This concrete will make buildings, roads and bridges, SO much safer! Say goodbye to potholes!

Living at Sea

National Geographic

Championed by California-based competition sponsor the Seasteading Institute, the high-seas homesteading movement is all about creating tiny frontier lands "where those who wish to experiment with building new societies can go to test out their ideas," according to the institute's Web site.

Don't forget to click through all the pictures! I'd LOVE if one of these ideas could be invented! Woot!

toxic waste's toxic waste

2009-05-21T22:02:00.011-04:00

Dirty tricks and toxic waste in Ivory Coast

BBC

"It is the biggest toxic dumping scandal of the 21st century, the type of environmental vandalism that international treaties are supposed to prevent. A giant multinational is being sued in London's High Court by thousands of Africans who claim they were injured as a result of the waste that was illegally tipped on Ivory Coast's biggest city, Abidjan."

The biggest toxic waste scandal, and yet people are still sick, still dying, and yet Trafigura denies the waste is hazardous. They have not been charged, and a lot of the waste is still there. Makes you really confident in humanity, doesn't it?

Speaking of pollution...

Concern over birth defects in China

BBC

"The province of Shanxi in central China is one of the most polluted places in the world and according to government officials, the rate of birth defects in this region is six times higher than the national average."

We often hear about how polluted China is... but are we really paying attention? When I lived in Korea there was a season called "Yellow Dust Season", when sand from the Gobi desert in China blew across to Korea. This is relatively normal, and wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for the fact that the dust blows through Chinese factory smoke stacks first, making it toxic. By the time it hits Korea it's a health hazard and people are warned not to go outside. The air turns yellow, literally. And yet, this is just the stuff picked up and dropped in Korea. This article shows what happens in China. It makes me want to boycott "made in China", although I'm sure there are severe economic repercussions to that too...

Things I fear

2009-04-27T09:14:00.010-04:00

I have many fears, and most are illogical. Water, heights, and speed are the three major ones I have been fighting most of my life.

Water:

Water is my nemesis. It is my oldest and strongest fear, one which had been reinforced as an adult. When I was very young I took swimming lessons and failed 'yellow' because I refused to put my head under water. I was terrified of not being able to breath, and even splashing water on my face resulted in gasping fear. I later made it past 'red', but have always been a very weak swimmer, and to this day am afraid of swimming without holding my head up and out of the water. I still need to hold my nose when I jump in. After a bad scare a few years ago, I was afraid of even venturing into water past my shoulders.

Heights/high speed:

This is a childhood fear. When I was little my sisters and I used to go to a park near our house, and there was a twirling swing. Being the youngest and smallest, when my sister used to spin us around, she held my swing because it was the lightest and easiest with which to run in circles. When she released me, my swing would suddenly soar up higher than all the others until I could almost touch tree branches. In my little imagination I saw my swing breaking and me soaring across the park to my death. It terrified me. Eventually I started refusing to go in twirly swings, and never could enjoy normal swings without that twinge of fear and picture of the chain breaking and me sailing to my death.

The breakdown:

I was fine with avoiding these things until I went to Southeast Asia. While there I REALLY wanted to see the view from the bell tower of a church, however, that would involve climbing up a rope to the roof (no guard rails). The rope climbing was fun because it was in the tower, but once up there I was, literally, on the roof. Scary? YES. But the view was amazing, and I felt like a superhero once my shaky legs were on solid ground again. That was the point in time when I decided to overcome my fear of heights, a little bit at a time. From that I went climbing with Chris in Korea and even jumped on the glass floor of the CN Tower. After every one of these major accomplishments I felt amazing!

My fear of water was enhanced while traveling in the Philippines, and I decided that I could not let it cripple me or I would never enjoy water again. I forced myself to swim with a life jacket while in Malaysia (the water was dead calm). I braved choppy water in Europe (with the help of my friend Allieren and an inflated bed). I decided to face my fear head on. Chris and I decided to go on holiday in Vietnam, and while there we took an open water SCUBA course. I panicked while we practiced in the pool (when you have to go under the water and learn how to breath with the mask), but kept trying. I found that every time I had to go from the surface to underwater, I would freak out inside and have to just allow myself to panic-breath while I held myself face-down. Eventually my breathing would slow down and I would dive. Soon I started to really enjoy myself! Learning to dive showed me that I CAN enjoy being under water. So I decided to boogey-board. I had one paralyzing moment of complete and utter fear when I was under, breathed in some salt water and couldn't find the bottom with my feet, but after crying and shaking for a little bit once I found the surface (which was after the wave had passed) I went back in and enjoyed myself!

Now, I would say that, although I am still wary of heights, as long as I'm on the ground or in a building (no skydiving for me yet!), I'm not afraid. I can finally thoroughly enjoy myself in high-up places. I am still very cautious of choppy water/waves, but I KNOW that if I can calm down, I WILL enjoy myself and even forget my fear for a little while!

All of this is to say that fears don't have to stick with you. I have learned to love climbing to high places, looking out from the CN tower, SCUBA diving, boogey boarding, swimming, and riding on the back of a motorcycle. Six or seven years ago I would have loved none of those things. I still get scared and panic sometimes, but the feeling of accomplishment I have afterward is my driving force. I feel amazing. I feel strong, brave, and ... well... like a hero.

In closing, check out this video. Chris sent it to me and it reinforces how I feel about my fears.

my mom

2009-04-14T07:48:00.004-04:00

This past weekend was the easter holiday, a time of visiting family and over-eating. This weekend was a little different for my family. Saturday was my dad's birthday, so I invited the weekend-visiting family over for a casual dinner to celebrate. Just before everyone arrived, my mom fell while trying to open the porch sliding door. She was obviously in a lot of pain, especially her hip, but everyone arrived right then, so she asked for some pain killers (an indication that something really was wrong) and endured the pain through the evening. By nighttime she was too weak to go to the hospital, so my dad took her the next day to get x-rays. I decided to stay home and clean up the dishes a bit. At about 9:45 my dad called to tell me that she had broken her hip and was going to be sent to Ottawa for surgery. I made phone calls to tell the visiting family members, Rae, and my parent's church. When I went in to visit (and bring my dad some food) the doctors said she'd have to wait another day (Monday) for surgery. My dad took the day off yesterday, and they took her in at about noon and put screws and a plate in to her hip. She's in recovery now, and will most likely be in the hospital for a few weeks, although we're hoping she can be transferred to Almonte, which will be much closer and convenient. She will have to get physiotherapy, and will be on painkillers for a while yet.

I'll keep this blog updated if anything changes.

The Credit Crisis for Dummies (no offense)

2009-04-04T13:38:00.005-04:00

Alright, I got this from my friend Matt, and as a way of explaining the "credit crisis" it was pretty helpful. Let me know what you think, and if you have anything to either dispute, or add to it!

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Acting in Afganistan

2009-03-27T10:42:00.006-04:00

What’s new from the BBC?
Terrifying plight of Afghan actress

“Afghan actress Parwin Mushthal's passion for her job has exacted a heavy toll - resulting in the murder of her husband and forcing her to live in hiding with her two children.”

Mushtal first began acting in highschool, and now has been in more than 20 theatre productions, dozens of films, and has regular television appearances. Her face is well known in Afganistan, but in this country, such popularity can be dangerous. In fact, Mushtal hid her acting career from her husband’s family, and when they came to visit, made sure the television was used only to watch movies.

In a country where the influence of the Taleban is growing stronger, acting is often linked with immorality. Women who act are often accused of prostitution, threatened, and even abused. Mushtal received such threats, and often arrived to work only to find people waiting at the entrance, blocking her path, and telling her she shouldn’t be working. She received threatening phone calls and was abused walking in the streets. People began to recognize her, and once, walking home with her young son, a stranger on a bike violently punched her in the back as he passed. She fell to the ground and injured her leg so badly that she still has pain months later. She thought perhaps the abuse was directed at her due to her clothing, so she began dressing more modestly and began wearing a scarf over her head. It wasn’t until her husband began receiving phone calls asking why he allowed his wife to act that she realized what the problem was. By then, it was too late.

One night in December a man repeatedly called her husband, telling him to come out of the house. He refused. The next night he began calling again, and eventually her husband agreed to meet him. Mushtal became concerned when he didn’t return after dark, and at eight o’clock heard shooting. She was afraid the man would come into the house next, so she locked the door and waited all night. In the morning police found her husband’s body, shot numerous times.

Now Parwin Pashtal is in hiding, wearing a full-length burka so she can't be recognized. She lives in constant fear that someone will recognize her and come after her or her two children. Pashtal’s story is not an anomaly in Afganistan. The Taleban is gaining strength in many cities, and is openly critical of women in the workplace. The result is situations like Pashtal’s, where women are threatened, abused, and even forced into hiding.

I wish this story could end on a happier note, but it can't. I wish I could DO something. Thus far, all I am doing is writing notes reaching very, VERY few people. Spreading information is one thing, but I don't feel like I'm actually helping improve anything. I want to help things CHANGE.

headlines again

2009-03-24T20:22:00.006-04:00

Exxon Valdez 20 Years Later

You guys remember the Valdex oil spill back in ’89? Well on March 23 an oil tanker stranded and leaked 11 million gallons of crude, making it the worst oil spill in US history. Clean up started immediately after the accident, and continued until 1994, when experts determined that the oil was naturally disintegrating rapidly, and that in a few years it would be completely gone. So, where are we 20 years later?

Not great.

Instead of disappearing, the oil breakdown in areas with irregular water flow has slowed, and according to recently completed research by the WWF, there are still 21,000 gallons of the toxic sludge coating Alaska’s shores and poisoning the wildlife. I’m not going to go into how much damage this spill caused (and is still causing, and will continue to cause), because it’s depressing. Hopefully Australia fares better.

Water Is Not a Human Right

Access to clean water is NOT a human right, according to a the Istanbul Ministerial Statement, which was adopted by ministers and heads of delegations from more than 150 countries. They agreed that clean water is a human need, but not a human right.

Anyone else think that’s bull****?!! I was PISSED when I read this.

And get this, they published it to purposely coincide with the United Nations' World Water Day. How’s that for irony?

Pink Elephant?!

What’s the saying about a white elephant? Well, how about pink? In Botswana a wildlife cameraman managed to catch sight of a pink African elephant calf, which experts believe is most likely an albino. Unlike Asian elephants, who spend a lot of time in jungle areas, African elephants spend a lot of time in the open, unprotected from the burning sun. Although this baby albino has slim chances for survival, his sensitive skin making him particularly vulnerable to a variety of health problems, he seems to have already begun to adapt to his situation. He walks in the shade of his mother, and since the herd was found in an area with water and trees, hopefully the baby will learn to cake himself in mud or take refuge under available trees.

I figure the little guy’s gonna make it. Elephants are smart, and this one already seems to have figured out that the sun can hurt him. Let’s be honest, he’s also pretty cute.

Glaucoma Anybody?

Apparently the drug used to treat glaucoma makes eyelashes grow longer, thicker, and darker. Now it’s being used solely for that purpose. Yes. You can now apply chemicals and drugs to your eyelashes to make them more like Audrey Hepburn’s (which were fake). Can anyone think of a better use for medicinal research funds?

Alaska Volcano!
Great shots of the volcano in Alaska that blasted off this month!

Lion Whisperer?

Wow!

I bet this guy has trouble getting life insurance! Kevin Richardson is an animal behaviorist who plays with lions. He has developed such a relationship with the lions that he rolls around with both males and females. The females even let him pet new cubs, a miracle considering how protective lionesses are. I think he’s an insaniac, but super cool.

Sand Dancer: Peter Donnelly

2009-03-21T11:16:00.009-04:00

Check this out!!

New Zealander Peter Donnelly is the Sand Dancer. He rides his bicycle to the beach immediately after the tide goes out, and using only a stick, a rake, and his imagination, creates astonishingly beautiful works of art in the sand. One of the most amazing things is, since he's on the ground, he can't really see what it looks like until it's finished.

This is unbelievable.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Here are some pictures of his work:

Here is the original Sand Dancer; Honorable Mention Tribeca Film Festival 2007 , winner of best doc Foursite Film Fest USA 2006 and several int awards. Used with permission from Valerie Reid Director and Producer

News! News! News!

2009-03-19T10:42:00.004-04:00

Alrighty everyone, it's time for your new updates! I'm obsessed with information (namely news) and so thought I'd share some of this past week's interesting news.

Night Shift Sparks Cancer Pay-out

Wow. Here's something that not enough people know. According to a ruling by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), an arm of the UN's World Health Organisation, there is a high chance that night shifts increase the risk of developing cancer. In Denmark 40 women have won compensation after developing cancer from decades of night shifts.

The IARC studies and ranks cancer risks.
Category One risks are known carcinogens such as asbestos. Night working now sits just one rung below that: a probable cause of cancer.

One of the reports, published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, showed a 36% greater risk of breast cancer for women who had worked night shifts for more than 30 years, compared with women who had never worked nights. This evidence supports the hypothesis that melatonin production may be impared by changing sleep patterns. Melatonin, in turn, has some beneficial effects in preventing some of the steps leading to cancer.

And if yet another risk of cancer doesn't get you quaking in your boots, night shifts have been blamed for an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, gastro-intestional problems, low birth-weight babies, and, for women, prolonged pregnancies.

All in all, this article interested me because I'd NEVER heard of such connections. If women are being compensated by a GOVERNMENT for their breast cancer due to working nights, I feel like there must be something to the risk.

Islands Disappear in India
Still think global warming is a "joke", "prank", or "unscientific"? Well, try telling the inhabitants of this island in India. Wait, make that ex-inhabitants. Some islands have completely submerged, while others are well on their way. People have become "environmental refugees" as houses and property are swallowed up by the sea and they are forced to move onto someone else's land. Space is limited and these people, as poor island dwellers, have nowhere else to go. The rate of erosion in India is 3.14 mm/year, where as the normal rate is 1.82 mm/year. So far there are no solutions offered (beyond crowding closer on the island and either starving or drowning).

Hippo Sweat Offers Key to Natural Sunscreen

OK, this is REALLY cool. Hippo sweat is red, and is structured at a microscopic level to scatter light. This means that those lovable giants can stand in the sun all day and not burn. Not only that, but scientists have discovered that hippo sweat is also antiseptic and insect repelling! So this summer make sure to visit the local zoo, wrestle with a hippo, and you can stay outside, bug free, all day! (Or you can wait for them to come out with a hippo sweat inspired product that won't smell, well, like hippo).

Sexy Marketing Aims to Boost Toilet Use

OK lets be honest, toilets ARE NOT sexy (well, for most of us anyway). In a lot of cultures talking about, or performing, bodily functions related to toilet use are either tabboo, or considered "dirty". This can be a problem when, according to National Geographic, "2.5 billion people worldwide don't have access to a clean, safe place to do their business." Add that to the reports that "80% of the developing world's illnesses are caused by unsafe water and inadequate sanitation" and you have a whopper of a problem. The solution? Make toilets sexy.
Yes, I agree. How on EARTH can a toilet be sexy? Well, some organizations have found a few ways.

In Kenya there are "toilet malls" where you can use a toilet, shower, get your shoes repaired, shop for food, and make a phone call. Celebrities all over Kenya have been called upon by an organization called Ecotact, to "sell" toilet malls. Famous Kenyan faces, like Miss Kenya and the vice president, have begun frequenting them in an attempt to make them more acceptable. Toilet malls have gained popularity by making a connection with status and privilege.

And then there is Cambodia, where the Resource Development International Cambodia have made romantic karaoke videos about proper sanitation and hygiene, hand washing, bird flu, and sex slavery. They advertise that hand washing is beautiful and make the connection between hygiene and health. These are shown on national television!

Thanks to programs like these, the toilet has become a status symbol. "It's cool to have a toilet. Be the first person on your block to have one!" Although I balk at social programming like this, and resent the ideal behind the marketing scheme, it seems to have worked. Who is really surprised? It's been working on the "West" for decades!

This just goes to prove that anything is marketable, and that using social pressure can make anything sexy, even a toilet.

going crazy

2009-03-17T12:21:00.006-04:00

I strive to love, learn, and live as fully and completely as I can. Unfortunately, my actual life feels about as far from my potential as I am from the moon. I am twisting into tighter and tighter coils of self-absorbed insanity.

living at home

twist

jobless

twist

anti-social

twist

........

must

something.

Life as: Trial and Error

2009-03-09T10:31:00.012-04:00

Bumps. Some are big and some are so small they barely slow you down. Sometimes I come across some bumps in the road that seem huge, and I have a habit of just sitting there, giving up, coming to the conclusion that I just can’t do anything about it.

I hate that.

I’ve been spending a lot of time online, and have found a few things that have helped me face my bumps, so I’ve decided to post them in case they can help someone else.

These are some quotes from Curt Rosengren. I have no idea who he is, I haven’t read his book, and he might actually be a terrible person (or a wonderful one). I love some of what he has to say though.

Our most challenging times are the times we need the support of others the most. Reaching out to others can plant a seed of connection that can grow over time and give you a stronger foundation for moving through challenges in the future as well.

Support is a two-way street. The more you focus on helping others, the more potential there is for that support to come back your direction. And it's not just support in challenging times. Helping others is a way to build relationships, and relationships open doors.

I love helping other people, and I generally encourage people to face their troubles; be bold; have confidence. Somehow, that hasn’t translated into myself. My confidence in myself, my life, and who I am has been shaken a few times lately so I’ve curled my tail close and stuck my nose in the sand.

When you successfully navigate a sea of obstacles, you gain first-hand experience that you really can deal with whatever comes your way. And when you feel confident that you can deal with challenges, you're more willing to take risks and pursue fulfillment in life.

I lived the mantra that “what is… is” but, as the movie “Australia” says, “what is isn’t necessarily what should be.” I have lost self confidence for a variety of reasons, but foremost is my own submissiveness to life’s rough side. In doing this I have lost some of my passion, the energy that comes from bringing more of ME into what I do, for life.

The solution: Find out what happened to the person in the pictures.

"Dirty" Oil: the Tar Sands of Alberta pt. 1

2009-03-03T08:32:00.014-05:00

Canada's greatest buried energy treasure [can] satisfy the world's demand for petroleum for the next century.
- Time Magazine

The Canadian tar sands industry is centered in Alberta, Canada, and more than one million barrels of synthetic oil are produced from these resources per day; a number set to triple by 2020. Currently, tar sands represent about 40% of Canada's oil production, and output is expanding rapidly. Approximately 75% of Canada's oil and oil products are exported to the US, making it difficult for both countries to cut their carbon emissions.

What are they, you ask?

Tar sands are a combination of clay, sand, water, and bitumen (a heavy black oil with the consistency of peanut butter). The sand is mined and processed to extract the oil-rich bitumen, then refined into oil. Extracting oil from tar sands is more complex than conventional oil recovery; usually using strip mining or open pit techniques. Once taken out of the ground, separation systems remove the bitumen from the clay, sand, and water that make up the tar sands. Due to its thick and heavy nature, bitumen also needs additional upgrading before it can be refined, and is diluted with lighter hydrocarbons to make it transportable by pipelines.

After mining, the tar sands are transported to an extraction plant, where a hot water process separates the bitumen from sand, water, and minerals. In this process hot water is added to the sand, and the resulting slurry is piped to the extraction plant. Tiny air bubbles attach to the bitumen released from the oil sand, and floats to the top of the separation vessel, where the bitumen can be skimmed off. Further processing removes residual water and solids. The bitumen is then transported and eventually upgraded into synthetic crude oil.

When we are looking at the tar sands, we are looking at a project that is the largest capital investment project on the face of the planet, the largest industrial project on the planet, and the ecological implications are just as great.
- Mike Hudema, an Edmonton-based campaigner with Greenpeace Canada.

This is the money - it even smells like money.
-Todd Dahlman, manager of Shell's Muskeg River oil sands mine in the Athabasca region of North Alberta in Canada.

There are 175 billion barrels of proven oil reserves here, and at about $131/barrel (as of Feb 2009), that's a lot of incentive to dig. Canada's reserves in Alberta are second only to Saudi Arabia’s 260 billion. The estimate of how many more barrels of oil are buried deeper underground is staggering.

We know there’s much, much more there. The total estimates could be two trillion or even higher. This is a very big resource.
-Clive Mather, Shell's Canada chief.

Environmental Disaster:

The bitumen in tar sands is a low-quality, high-cost alternative to oil and, so far, there have been inadequate environmental safeguards or monitoring of extraction and processing for export to the U.S.

To get the oil out of the ground, trees are cut down, the surface layer is strip-mined, and the underlying mixture is heated with steam in order to make it flow. Two tons of earth and sand are dug out to yield just one barrel of bitumen; that one barrel generates three times as much greenhouse gas (GHG) emission as excavating one barrel of conventional oil.

On average, 500-1000 cubic feet of natural gas is needed to produce a single barrel of crude oil and three to five barrels of fresh water are drawn from the Athabascan river system to process each barrel of bitumen. The water level of the Athabasca River has severely depleted and the fish have been poisoned.

The water leftover from the extraction process, known as tailings, contains arsenic, mercury, napthenic acids and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs). Most of this water is stored in vast, above-ground contaminated tailings ponds, which leak toxins into the surrounding area. Much of the water is reused, but the industry is producing 1.8m litres of tailings a day which need to be contained in large earthen dams. As of last year, tailings covered over 130 sq km.

To give an idea of the danger, last spring, about 500 ducks alighted on a tailings pond during their yearly migration. Once landing on the water, they were soon entrapped by the slick oil on the surface and drowned in the toxic cocktail.

Should one of the dams fail and release its content of poisonous water, the results will be disastrous. Downstream residents in Fort Chipewyan can no longer safely eat fish from the river because they make them sick. The people themselves have high rates of birth defects and cancers, some in rare forms.

Compounding the health hazard are the massive amounts of nitrogen oxides, sulpher dioxide, volatile organic compounds and particulate matter are being released into the air through the processing process. The tar sands mining procedure releases at least three times the CO2 emissions as regular oil production and is slated to become the single largest industrial contributor in North America to Climate Change.

It is estimated that by 2011, annual greenhouse gas emissions from the tar sands plants alone will be over 80 million tones of CO2 equivalent - a greater quantity of emissions than that produced by all of Canada's passenger cars today.

The oil sands are single-handedly preventing Canada from meeting any of its Kyoto obligations.
-Mike Hudema, an Edmonton-based climate and energy campaigner with Greenpeace Canada.

Under the UN climate agreement, Canada was to have reduced its emissions to 20% below 2006 levels by 2020. The federal government has said it will not even attempt to meet those targets.

The tar sands are already the cause of the second fastest rate of deforestation on the planet behind the Amazon Rainforest Basin. The the Pembina Institute says 420sq km of forest has been 'disturbed' so far. Meanwhile, 2,000sq km of forest is predicted to have been affected. There’s no certainty about reclaiming these thousands of hectares of boreal forest and wetlands ripped up to yield bitumen and, to date, little reclamation has been accomplished.

In short: exploiting the tar sands goes farther than simply using up water, electricity, coal and natural gas. The air is polluted with nitrogen oxides and sulphur dioxide, water is contaminated with toxic chemicals, and millions of hectares of wilderness are being destroyed.

Can’t argue with it. I mean, there’s no question that they’ve got a mess up there.
-T. Boone Pickens, legendary Texas oil tycoon

Pt. 2 on social repercussions once I get organized

Check out my sources, and feel free to use the comments box.

Oil, Shale and Tar Sands Programmatic Environmental Impact Statement released by the US

Alberta Energy

CBC article and video (skips a little)

BBC article 1 and 2

Greenpeace

Oil Sands Truth article 1, 2, and 3.

CBS article and video

heart and spirit

2009-02-12T21:45:00.001-05:00

Are there differences between the heart and the spirit? I will say yes. Although the two may be synonymous for some people, I have found that not only are these very different, they can battle one another viciously. How can someone sacrifice their heart for the sake of spirit? What about the other way around? Is it possible to deny your spirit for the sake of your heart? Can one live without the other? These are the questions I've been asking myself. I may not be a philosopher, but I've been thinking suspiciously philosophical thoughts lately.

Consider the two separate (as I do) from one another. Your lover (your heart) is essentially confined to bed for health reasons, and needs care. This is a long-term situation, and, barring a miraculous event, is not going to change. You love to travel, get out and visit people, and explore what life has to offer (your spirit). To leave the person you love so deeply is to abandon your heart. To stay and care for him or her is to abandon your spirit. Are heart and spirit in opposition? Is there a meeting point? Or are they contradictory and you must choose one or the other? If you choose one, is the other negated? Can you live on spirit alone? What about heart? If your 'spirit' is sacrificed, can you live on 'heart' alone?

I don't have answers to these questions. What I do know is that, while trying not to choose one over the other, you need to be careful not to destroy both.

podcasts coming out my ying-yang

2009-01-24T08:27:00.006-05:00

Ok friends and foes, lately I've been downloading podcasts to my laptop for nightly perusal before bed, and I have enjoyed them so much I wanted to share them with you. I got ALL of these legally, for free, from iTunes (mostly Berkeley College), CBC, or BBC websites. Although I have not listened to all of them, I lave listened to a LOT. All the Berkeley ones are lectures (the journalism ones are event lectures, not class lectures). C'mon! Who doesn't like learning new and interesting stuff?! Anyway, you can find them from the links provided above, or you can ask me and I can send you whatever specific 'casts you want. Enjoy!

PS> Although I listed all of the podcasts for each of the programs, I did not list all the lectures for each college course, since there are hundreds and this blog is already long enough.

CBC Radio Dispatches: Eyewitness to History

-Stories from Afghanistan; Radio improving farming in Africa; Child soldiers and music.

-Egypt's gambit in Gaza; around the world on a bike; Hungary and radical politics

-Ancient places and humans; wildlife tours in Africa; the Tonie Sap at risk

-Garbage in Mangua; Canada and Colombia; Afghanistanis and the Taliban

- Qat; Sub-Saharan Africa's roadside gardens; angry farmers in India

-Nuclear Renaissance and the quest for alternative energy

BBC Crossing Continents

-Child-Trade in the US and Liberia

Discovery Atlas

-Explore China in 27 episodes

Berkeley English 1175: Shakespeare

BBC Health Check

-Arthritis and pain

Berkeley History 4A: The Ancient Mediterranean

Berkeley History 5: European Civilization from the Renaissance to the Present

Berkeley History 106B: The Roman Empire

Berkeley History 167B: the Rise and Fall of of the Second Reich

Berkeley History 181B: Modern Physics from the Atom to Big Science

Berkeley Integrative Biology 131: General Human Anatomy

Berkeley Integrative Biology General Human Anatomy (Video podcast)

Berkeley International and Area Studies 106

Berkeley International and Area Studies 180: Issues in Foreign Policy after 9/11

iTunes U Grey's Anatomy (the medical text)

Berkeley Journalism and Media: Event Speakers

-A Food Agenda for the Next Administration

-The Death of Environmentalism

-Founding Mothers

-The (Real) State of the Union: Atlantic Monthly Panel

-Molly Ivins: Mario Savio Memorial Lecture

-Mass Destruction: Truth and Consequences

-Professor Michael Pollen, Journalism

-Is the Media Failing in America?

-Being Opinionated in America

-The Consequences of Confidential Sources: Jail?

-The Bush White House: How Covering the Beat has Changed

-The Changing Rules of Journalism

-Chain of Command; The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib

-The Past, Present, and Future of Food

-The View From Abroad: Is America Broken?

BBC Radio Medical Matters

-Learn about ticks, bed bugs, cockroaches, and lice.

PBS Nature (Video)

-Arctic Bears

-The Dragon Chronicles

-The Gorilla King

-Unforgettable Elephants

-Chimpanzees: A Unnatural History

-Murder in the Troop

-The Venom Cure

-The Wolf That Changed America

-American Eagle

-Clever monkeys

-The Cheetah Orphans

-White Falcon, White Wolf

-The Beauty of Ugly

-Supersize Crocs

-The Queen of Trees

-Animals Behaving Worse

-A Mystery in Alaska

-Wisdom of the Wild

-Dolphin Defender

-Horse and Rider

-Encountering Sea Monsters

-Crime Scene Creatures

-Killers in Eden

-Rhinoceros

-Prince of the Alps

-Superfish

-Penguins of the Antarctic

-What Males Will Do

-What Females Want

-Cuba: Wild Island of the Caribbean

-Deep Jungle: The Beast Within

-Deep Jungle: Monsters of the Forest

-Deep Jungle: New Frontiers

-Raptor Force

-Crash: A Tale of Two Species

-Parrots in the Land of Oz

-Desert Lions

-Violent Hawaii

-The Seedy Side of Plants

-Ravens

-From Orphan to King

-In the Valley of the Wolves

-Silence of the Bees

-The Good, The Bad, and the Grizzly

-Life in Death Valley

-Katrina's Animal Rescue

-Shark Mountain

-Cloud's Legacy: The Wild Stallion Returns

-Kalahari: The Flooded Desert

-Kalahari: The Great Thirstland

-A Mystery in Alaska

-Silent Roar: Searching for the Snow Leopard

-Pale Male

-Shadow Over the Sun: A Story of Eagles

-A New King

-Predicting Earthquakes

-Great White Ambush

-Behind the Scenes with Filmmaker Corinna Faith

-Monster Jellies

-An Unforgettable Encounter

-A Mother's Anguish

-Flies Bring a Killer to Justice

-A New Lease on Life

-A Salmon's Journey

-The Peregrine's Stoop

-Measuring up to Crocs

-Tracking the Target

-Charge of the Indian Rhino

-African Queen

-Behind the Scenes with Executive Producer Fred Kaufman

-Poetry in Motion

-Diamond Dust

-Yellowstone Untouched

-Outfoxed

-Silent Sentinels?

-This bird's Got Talent

-Hinduism's Sacred Animal

-Enough is Enough

-Modern-Day Explorer

-Family Reunion

-Behind the Scenes with Filmmaker Allison Argo

-Diamonds

-Hippo Beach

BBC One Planet

-A Drought in Israel

Oxford Biographies

-Flora MacDonald, Jacobite heroine

-Mo Mowlam, politician

-Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise, entertainers

-Constance Markievicz, Irish republican and first woman elected to parlaiment

-William Bowler, hatter and feltmaker

-Billy Butlin, fairground proprietor and founder of holiday camps

-Victoria Woodhull, women's rights campaigner and first female presidential candidate

-Edward Harrison, analytical chemist and army officer

-James Murray, lexicographer

-Piltdown Man, archaeological hoax

-Lord Haw-Haw, fascist and propaganda broadcaster

Berkeley Peace and Conflict Studies 164A: Introduction to Non-Violence: Fall 2006

Berkeley Peace and Conflict Studies 164A: Introduction to Non-Violence: Spring 2007

Berkeley Psychology 1: General Psychology

Berkeley Psychology 130: Clinical Psychology

Berkeley 131: Developmental Psychopathology

Berkeley Psychology 140: Developmental Psychology

Berkeley Psychology 156: Human Emotion

Berkeley Psychology 160: Social Psychology

BBC This Week in Africa

-ANC Party President and corruption allegations

-Why is Sudanese opposition leader in detention?

-Fears of a serious maize shortage in Cameroon

National Geographic Walks of a Lifetime: Must-Visit Places

-Santa Fe

-San Antonio

-New Orleans

-Montreal

-Minneapolis

-Barcelona

-Philadelphia

-Vienna

-Los Angeles/ Santa Monica

-Amsterdam

-Charleston

-Savannah

-Sydney

-Boston

-Rome

-Washington, D.C.

-Chicago

-Miami

-Paris

-San Francisco

-Tribeca

-London

National Geographic Wild Chronicles (with Video)

-Pew Krill

-Ocean Census

-Elephant Play

-Polar Palooza

-Mark Lynas

-Fongoli Chimp

-Joseph Lekuton

-Elephant Rehab

-Playpumps

-Japanese Bluefin

-Ndoki Adventure

-Panama Golden Frog

Let me know what you think!

my new discovery: MidEastWeb.org

2009-01-20T01:56:00.005-05:00

I've recently been researching the Palestinian/Israeli conflicts and trying to better understand what is going on. I stumbled across a fantastic website that I would like to share with you all. It's the MidEastWeb, which is a Non-Government Organization (NGO). It was started

by people active in Middle East dialog and peace education efforts. [Their] goal is to weave a world-wide web of Arabs, Jews and others who want to build a new Middle East based on coexistence and neighborly relations. [Their] members and staff include distinguished educators, engineers, Web designers and other professionals experienced in dialog, peace education projects and in promoting dialog and coexistence using the Internet.

There are SO many links, articles, timelines, maps, primary source documents, and more.

According to the website, their goals are to "overcome the effects of decades of conflict, separation and hate propaganda." To do this, there needs to be "cooperation between peoples." They aim to "promote and publicize dialog, people-to-people and educational projects, and to make non-violence, tolerance and rapprochement key values in [their] societies."

After reading a LOT of the information they have available, I have decided to promote this site. My aim is NOT to try to promote one side of the conflict or the other, and I feel that this website is very good at giving solid facts, and as much as possible, avoiding bias and opinions. If any of this information interests you; if you wish you knew more about what is going on in the middle east, MidEastWeb might be a good place to start. Obviously I've not read all of the material MidEastWeb has to available. If there is incorrect information please let me know via a comment (and let the website know too), and I'll look into it.

There is also a MidEastWeb blog, which I have yet to check out. If you decide to see what it has to offer let me know what you think.

goodbye 2008; hello 2009

2009-01-13T03:12:00.007-05:00

Ever notice that you have a lot of pictures? They're like your diary; 1000 words for each shot; capturing the different stages and events of your life. Summer camps, jobs, camping, university, friends, travel, travel, travel. I take pictures with an obsessive compulsion to capture the moment; stop time.

Then, when I look at them again, later in life, I get sad. I miss old days, good times, and friends. My pictures record everything with both clarity and deception. I can't remember what I felt at the moment the shutter clicked, but the picture is so beautiful I imagine my life as nothing but the blissful scenes in front of me. I know my life hasn't all been peaches and rainbows, but when I look back that's all I see. I've glamorized events; no matter what, my lens seems to be rose tinted. I don't want to envy my past self, but to look forward to my uncertain future. Instead, I seem to constantly find myself mired in the sticky memories of days past.

Thus, I can't properly tell you about 2008; or even 2007 for that matter. Instead, I'll show you some of my favorite pictures. The ones that bring the most longing; the ones that draw me into the past; the ones that make my heart ache.

O Canada

2008-11-18T19:50:00.005-05:00

Alrighty, I've been home for a while, and I figure it's time to update everyone. I'm living in Canada again. I'm at my parent's new house, and soon will be living in an appartment in their basement. My day is routine and mind-shatteringly restrictive. I'm looking at online tutoring to earn some money, which will be nice. I'm still trying to decide what I'm going to do next September. Where I'll live, what school I'll go to, and, sometimes even, what I'm going to do. Until the time comes for those decisions to be made, I'll be here; and I love visits (even if they can only be online chats or phone calls)!

Fabulous Fun and PIFF

2008-10-06T23:57:00.010-04:00

It's festival season in Pusan, and lately I've been really busy just trying to do everything from TreX games to the Pusan International Film Festival, with some mountain-top camping in between!

Lets start with TreX
Hapkido/BMX:

I only saw a few things from the TreX games, including some outdoor exhibitions that blew my mind. Some Hapkido performances were spectacular, with high leaps, fast kicks/punches, smooth tumbles and unbelievable athleticism. The BMX exhibition was spectacular! High tricks and a lot of hard falls. Again, fantastic athletes! See Chris' pictures for some great shots.

Gymnastics:
I also saw something I never thought possible. Picture this: four girls. a see-saw with chair cushions under the part that hits the ground on the down tilt. That's it. Two at a time the girls, using their OWN BODY STRENGTH, would jump and propel one another in the air. Once in the air she would do FLIPS and gymnastic tricks, then land on the board again to propel the opposite girl into the air. All this, over CEMENT! No protective netting or cushioning. Just cement. If one of the girls aimed wrong, or came out of a flip at the wrong time, she'd land on cement after a 15-20 foot fall. SCARY! I also saw the kite festival at Haeundae (some AMAZING kites) and some BMX/skateboarding/in-line skating competitions in BEXCO. All were fantastic. Mind-boggling. Unfortunately, my camera was out of batteries...

The Film Festival

Religulous:
The Pusan International Film Festival was fun last year, though sadly, I missed most showings due to work. The same thing happened this year. Chris and I decided to see a film called "Religulous", despite knowing nothing about it, because it "guaranteed laughs." I didn't laugh. It was stupid, biased and cut-and-paste to prove the director's point. Only a brainless sheep, like the ones he mocked in the movie, would believe anything portrayed in the movie as "enlightened". A waste of time.

Johnny Mad Dog:

However, one good thing about the movie was that as we were in line to get the tickets a man came up to us and told us that he had to go to Seoul and couldn't use his tickets for a movie called "Johnny Mad Dog". We went and saw it. I have to say, this was an EXTREMELY difficult movie to watch. In fact, I closed my eyes for some parts. It's about child soldiers in Liberia and it was brutal, heartrending, and REAL. Of the 14 main children actors in it all are either ex-child soldiers or homeless/familyless street kids from Liberia. All have seen, or even participated in, the events portrayed in the movie. It was rated +12, but I would put the highest possible rating on it. There are EXTREMELY disturbing scenes, including mass killing, hard drug use and rape. No 12-year-old should be allowed to see those things, no matter how life-hardened they are. It reminded me of all I have been reading about Somalia and Darfur. Which I think is the point. More about those places in the news later...

Anyway, this past week has been great. I'm trying to get in all of Korea I can before coming home, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job...!

Vietnam: The place to be. Seriously.

2008-09-02T00:27:00.006-04:00

OK, so Chris and I went on an AWESOME trip to Viet Nam for a heavenly 8 days and 7 nights. We wanted to go somewhere to get our scuba diving lisences so I looked at a few countries and picked Viet Nam because of the weather, and Hoi An because I'd found some divers' blogs online saying it's the new place to go for diving. That was the extent of our planning. off, got tickets, jumped on a plane and arrived in Da Nang (the closest airport to Hoi An) with a bunch of Korean money and a nearly empty bag. Totally random, unorganised and relaxed! The town was georgous, the people really interesting, and the experience, oh so wonderful!

a coracle on the sea.
If anyone has any desire to visit Vietnam in the future, I highly reccomend it, and would be happy to provide information on the town we visited, the people we met, and the place we stayed. It was positively amazing.

Here are some pictures to better tell the story of my trip to Vietnam! To see more, go to

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=39922&l=9c431&id=512991936

or

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=42017&l=0767e&id=512991936

Chris made a friend, Sang, whose father is a fisherman. They kindly took us on a tour and showed us how they catch their fish. His father didn't speak English, so his son translated for him. He was the most beautiful man. His face was weatherbeaten, and full of life and love.

a fisherman's hut and our dive team!

There were very few traffic/safety laws (so it seemed) but everyone was going really slowly anyway...

This is the view from the restaurant on top of the hotel. The land and sky were both breathtaking. I couldn't get enough of sitting on the roof, eating a free, buffet, all-you-can-eat breakfast and staring out from the top of the world to such spectacular beauty. Amazing.

We got a bike taxi back to the hotel at one point. Chris bought fresh-squeezed sugarcane juice!

the view everywhere was amazing. The sky was huge.

Another stunning sunset.

Dear Tommy

2008-08-04T08:08:00.010-04:00

I know this is late, but there are some things I wanted to tell you. You really are a good student. You may have never done your homework in the 5 months, 5 days a week that I taught you, but you worked hard in class, and more important, you did your best. I'm not sorry I made you do so many push-ups, nor do I think you regret doing them. You had a smile on your face every day, even on the days when you knew you'd be doing push-ups. I appreciate that you didn't take the discipline personally.

I looked forward to your "Hello Teacher!" any time you saw me, anywhere. Your cheerful attitude was inspiring to other students, and you were a great leader. I know your parents were pushing you to excel in school, and I know you had a lot of stress on your shoulders. I'm sorry I didn't tell you often enough how great a boy I think you are. I know that's all you wanted; to be accepted by your parents and teachers.

Your parents must be suffering so much at the double tragedy of losing both you and your sister. I'm not surprised you tried to save her; that's the kind of person you are. I'm sorry, so sorry, this is late. You deserve so much more than this end. I'm so sorry.

You're a hero Tommy.
Goodbye.

Love, Rebekah Teacher

My student who went by the name of "Tommy" died this weekend trying to save his little sister, who fell into a river. They both drowned. He was 12 years old, and although I'm not sure how old his sister was, I'm fairly certain she was much younger. I have no idea how to come to terms with this tragedy. I can't imagine the pain of his parents. I feel numb. I'm confused. Angry. Helpless.

Vacation in Nam...!

2008-06-08T06:29:00.004-04:00

Yes. I'm in Hoi An, Vietnam right now! Chris and I spent the morning arranging scuba diving for the next few days (we're getting out international certification while we're here) and this afternoon was spent at the markets, checking things out and taking pictures. Right now Chris is off on a bicycle somewhere with his camera and I just had a nap with my scuba text (that I started reading but fell asleep with).

This place is amazing. The hotel we're staying in is $35/night with free breakfast and bicycle use. There is also a pool and sauna, as well as the option of a manacure or massage (pay extra for those last two). We had a very expensive dinner last night that cost $20 for the two of us and it was DELICIOUS! We start scuba diving tomorrow morning with a French instructor named Rudolph (ze scuBAH divING instrucTORRR).

It's a blast and we've only been here 24 hours! I love every minute!

summer movies

2008-05-27T21:47:00.005-04:00

Three summer movies!

CATUION: mild spoilers.

Chronicles of Narnia:
Begining and end I followed, but what happened to the middle? I grew up with this series and sometimes it felt like they were basing it off a different book! Also... what's with the teenage Caspian? He's supposed to be a kid, right? Entertaining, and once I got past the inaccuracies I enjoyed it. It's a renter in my opinion though.

Indians Jones:
Just saw it. Loved it. So glad I saw it in theatres! Exactly what I wanted from Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Harrison Ford. I forgot how much the first three scared me the first times I watched them! Jumped a few times and for sure squealed once (most likely more). There's creepy crawlies, surprises, supernatural elements, explosions, running, jumping and chases; just like a good Indiana Jones movie should. See it in theatres if you liked the other three, don't bother to see it at all if you didn't.

Iron Man:
Excellent. Loved the action, special effects and acting. It was a bit predictable, but then, it's a superhero movie based on comics, so that's expected. The acting was great, there was a fun element of comedy and there was a serious element of social justice. I loved it, and if you have extra change, reccommend it as a theater movie for sure!

Enjoy!